I Heart Sunsets

Sunsets have to be one of my most favorite indulgences in life. Tonight, God treated me to a rather amazing one! This was taken while in Laguna Beach tonight looking out over the ocean. I wish you could see more of it, but from where I was taking the picture, you only get a small glimpse. The sky was magnified with blues, purples, reds, oranges, and yellows as the sun melted into the ocean like warm butter on a hot piece of bread. It was simply breathtaking! And the best part? I get to see views like this every day!

One of those days

My struggle with insurance companies will forever be a never-ending battle now that I have this disability. Today was "one of those days." First, my insurance is horrible. There are different tiers of coverage depending if you meet that monetary deductible. I've worked all year to finally get to the point of receiving 90% coverage. The sad part is that in January, it all starts over and I go back down to 0% coverage. Well, here's where the battle begins.

I am in need of a new wheelchair. My current wheelchair is falling apart, and quite blatantly, I hate it. I would not recommend it to anyone. In September, I flew back to Atlanta and my favorite people at Shepherd Center evaluate me for a new wheelchair and write up a prescription. They found a local vendor in Georgia who said they were listed as a provider and were going to get my wheelchair for me. Well, they took their sweet time submitting the Pre-Authorization to insurance, and after a month and a half of wasting my time, it turns out they are not a provider under my insurance. That now leaves me with trying to find a local vendor here in California to fill this order. The problem with that is that vendor's here want to do their own evaluation, have to submit their own Pre-Auth to my insurance company, and then they can place the order. Well, there are only 6 weeks left in the year before my insurance goes back to 0% coverage. This means, they have to scramble to try to get everything set to go for it to get back here in 6 weeks. Bottom line? It's not going to happen. This means, I'm forced to pay about $10,000 for a wheelchair.... out of pocket. This is money I obviously don't have, but it's a medical device I have to have.

What do insurance companies think people with disabilities are supposed to do??? We need these medical devices, however they cost a fortune to purchase! I'm so frustrated and feel so helpless. Even people in the medical industry don't really seem to be on my side. These days, it's all about the money. I guess I'll just crawl to work since the wheelchair I use might not get me there. I swear. America might be becoming a third world country after all if I have to start crawling to work.

Kentucky Pie

I was on a baking frenzy this weekend. I love to bake. It produces a satisfying (and fairly quick) feeling of accomplishment in me. The problem is, it doesn't help my waist line any. This weekend, I made banana pudding and two Kentucky Pies. I had originally planned on only making one pie, but halfway through putting all the ingredients into the bowl, I realized the recipe was for two pies rather than one. LOL! For those of you who don't know what a Kentucky Pie is, it's a cross between a brownie and a pecan pie. It's so good for those of you who have a sweet tooth, and it's so incredibly easy to make! I brought one pie over to Robert's mom's house, and kept the other one. I'll probably only have a piece or two here at my house (in order to save my waistline) and then bring the rest to work. Anyway, the pie turned out really, really good! Even Robert liked it and had two huge pieces! I thought I'd pass the recipe on to all of you in case you're in a baking mood like me.

Kentucky Pie (makes 1 pie, 10 minutes prep time)

2 large eggs, lightly beaten
1 cup of sugar
6 oz. semisweet chocolate chips, melted (I used milk chocolate chips)
1/2 cup self-rising flour
1/2 cup butter (1 stick), melted
1 tsp. vanilla
1 cup chopped pecans (I used slightly less)
1 9 inch unbaked pie shell
Ice Cream, optional

Preheat oven 350 degrees. Combine eggs, sugar, and melted chocolate in large bowl. Add flour and mix well. Stir in remaining ingredients. Bake 30 - 40 minutes or until toothpick inserted in middle comes out bready and not doughy. Serve warm with ice cream. Freezes well. Enjoy!

My Vote Is In!

Today, I mailed in my vote for the 2008 Presidential Election. I don't particulary feel that either candidate is a great representation for Presidency of the United States, however it is very important for me to at least have a choice. I look forward to the day when each vote truly does count rather than choosing a winner by electoral votes.

Wishing for the Simple Life

Lately, I've wondered why life has become so complicated. I feel a little "off" with everyone. Either I'm not communicating very clearly or people are really that ignorant. I'm not sure which it is yet. Is it really true that the older you get, the harder it is? I'm feeling the push towards feeling "older" the closer I get to turning 30. Granted, I know I'm not old, but life and life decisions are becoming harder each day.

As a codependent, I wonder still how not to worry about other people and their decisions, especially when it will eventually effect me. I've tried to not get involved, but in the end, I feel like I'm going to be the one who's left high and dry. I'm so used to manipulating situations, saying what people want to hear, and smiling a fake "everything's ok" smile while I put them first, that when I lay all that aside for a moment, I feel like the world goes out of sync. At the same time, when I begin to speak my mind and set my boundaries, people think I'm mean and not willing to be a team player. Puh-lease.

I still miss Robert so much. I know he misses me. He texts me how much he loves me and that he just wants to hear my voice again. Well, why'd you want to take a break, then? Don't tell me you've worked out things between you and your child's mother in a week and a half. It's hard, though, because there are so many things I want to include him on and share with him. I can't tell you the amount of times I've picked up the phone all excited to tell him something, and then have to put it back down again with a sigh. I wrote him an email today and told him if I go back to him, it's all or nothing. Either we're getting married or we're not. It's either "us" or it's "just me by myself." I've been spending a lot of time reading about step-parenting and also from a book called "His Needs, Her Needs." Very good book if you're interested in learning what top five things your partner needs in a relationship. The only bad thing is that if both people don't read it, it's only beneficial to the other person, not you.

Can I just rant for a moment? Just because you're fat doesn't mean you're handicap. I went to Weight Watchers today (lost another 3 pounds this week!!), but when I got there, someone else was already in the handicap parking space. Thankfully, there was a regular spot open right next to the slashed lines on the opposite side of the handicap spot, so I could easily get my wheelchair out of the car. As I was putting the wheels on the frame, out walks from the bank a fat lady and heads towards the red SUV that's parked in the handicap spot next to me. I was so frustrated, and I let her know it by the expression on my face. I'm sorry, but FAT doesn't mean HANDICAP! Granted, you may have some conglomerate assortment of medical problems that medically "deemed" you handicap, but the reason you have those medical problems is because you're FAT! Lose the weight people! It's something you can DO and CHANGE about yourself. Unfortunately, I can't CHANGE the fact that I'm paralyzed! If you can CHANGE the problem, you're NOT HANDICAP!

Days like right now wish I was back on the Merced River, laying on a rock, looking up at the sky and realizing that life was so simple. Oh, to be 20 years old again.

Challenge to be Rejected...

Today, I feel about how this flower looks. Deflated. Some days, I wonder where tears come from and why they never seem to dry up... even after crying for hours. My eyes are swollen, yet I'm still expected to smile here at work and act like nothing's wrong. Well, there is something wrong, darn it!

My church is in the middle of a "40 Days of Love" series where we learn different aspects of Love. This week, we were challenged to "Love in Truth," meaning to speak the truth to people, in love of course, even if it's something they may not necessarily want to hear. With this, we have to be willing to accept rejection, too, because people may not be willing to hear what we have to say. We were challenged to try confronting someone in a loving way (after checking our motives and making sure they godly), starting with affirming them, then stating what the problem is, and following through with encouragement. I took the challenge. And.... I got rejected.... in a bad way. My boyfriend left me.....

He says it's so that he can work on the problem without me. He says it's not fair to me to keep dragging me through the issue. He says he promises it will be different this time, and that he wants to make me the priority but that he has to get this other issue under control, and it will take time. Why does he have to do this without me? I'm so saddened. I don't really want to talk about it with people, because I don't want to have to tell people the story or even say that we're not together as of last night. How does someone spend a year and half with someone go from that to nothing? He was the first person I shared my joys and sorrows with during the day. He was who I leaned to for advice, for comfort, and for support. He is my best friend, and I feel like I'm all alone in this world now without him. What I want to do is crawl in my bed and not leave for about a week or so. I want to turn all the phones off, all the distractions off, and sleep it all away. I want to wake up and see that it was all a bad dream. This wasn't at all how it was supposed to turn out. Why, God, do you challenge us to do something and when we obey, it turns out bad?? My hopes of getting engaged and being married to my best friend have all been stripped away. I now somehow am expected to start over or somehow wait for him to figure it all out. I'm in a quandry of what to do. It hurts to keep my eyes open. My heart is so flat right now.

I know deep down this has to be the last time that I allow him to go in and out of my life. Sticking to that belief is another issue. How do you keep someone who is your best friend away from you? How do you not dial his number? How do you stop your mind from thinking about him? How do you stop loving someone??

It's going to be a long week.

Weekend Update

Thankfully, I'm feeling better after being in Atlanta. This weekend was interesting to say the least. Friday, a friend of mine who I used to teach with in Atlanta flew in from NYC with her friend. It was great seeing her again! We went to a nice jazz club up in Seal Beach and then down to Main Street in Huntington Beach. I don't drink anymore, so going to clubs and bars are not my thing (so I don't know many key "California" places to hang out). Nonetheless, it was fun to hang out with her!

Saturday, I recovered from the night before (we didn't get in until 3am) and then decided to go to Laguna Beach for lunch. We ate at a great little spot right on the beach. I love that I'm so close to everything here in SoCal. I definitely need to take better advantage of what I have access to these days! After lunch, I came home and took a nap then met Robert for a date to the movies. We went to see "Lakeview Terrace." A good movie, suspenseful ending, but probably nothing I'd buy for my DVD collection. I think my favorite thing about going to the movies is being able to sit close to Robert anyway, so that was definitely accomplished! :) We headed to a frozen yogurt stand afterwards that was giving away free yogurt (can't beat that!) and then went back home.

Sunday, Robert and I went to church. We're in the middle of our "40 Days of Love" series. Robert had to leave soon after church to go take his son to his baseball game. Normally I would have gone to watch, but we were going to meet up later that afternoon to go to a hockey game at the Honda Center. I wanted to catch up on my laundry. The Anaheim Mighty Ducks were playing the Vancouver Canucks, and after three fights on the ice, tied score at the end of the game and still tied in overtime, the Ducks lost to the Canucks in a shoot-out. Very entertaining night!

We got home just in time for me to catch the series premiere of Desperate Housewives. Should be interesting this year! I gotta give props to Eva Longoria for being willing to gain weight for her role. I wouldn't do it!

I woke up last night to the sound of thunder. That rarely EVER happens out here... thunder. It was definitely an odd sound to hear. It's our first rain of the Fall and has been cloudy all day (after a beastly weekend). I just pray the fires don't come again this year, so hopefully this helped "wet" things down a bit.

That's the update on me for this past weekend!

Can you please pass the Kleenex?

Well, I haven't gotten better yet since being sick in Atlanta. For a moment I thought I was getting better, but I guess not because I had to run to Wal-Mart tonight to get medicine. Ugh. I hate being sick. It's been a good minute since I've been sick. I'm now thinking the reason I was able to ward off so much sickness this past year is because I had been taking Xango, a dietary supplement juice made out of some exotic berry found only in Southeast Asia. I stopped taking it during my cleanse, so I've been off of it for two months now. I honestly believe now more than ever that it aided in keeping from getting sick, because look at me now. :(

I slept in today, cooked some eggs and toast, but fell back asleep on the couch. Now here it is almost 7:3pm and I don't feel like I accomplished much today. It was nice to have Robert over at the house. He's such a sweetheart and did all my laundry for me while I slept. He was busy watching football... the Georgia game (I've turned him into a Georgia lover!) and now the USC game against Ohio. I could care less about football today. Just that kind of day I guess. The air out here as gotten cooler, and I love it. It's crisp enough to still be able to sleep with the windows open but need a comforter to keep you warm. Reminds me of sleeping out under the stars in Yosemite. Got my hair cut yesterday. I started doing my own self-home job on Thursday night, and uh, yeah... didn't go so well. I used to be able to do it when it was longer, but now that I've started wearing it slightly shorter, I'm not able to cut it, I guess. Thankfully, I stopped only 5 minutes into my butchering, so it wasn't too bad. However, I did have to make stop to my hairdresser yesterday for her to do a real hair cut. Dang. There goes another $60. But it's cute. I got it cut right at my shoulders. I'm sure I'll take a picture sometime soon so ya'll can see it. Mom called me yesterday to tell me about the gas increase and informed to go directly to the gas station and get gas. I paid $3.71 out here in Orange County, but that's fairly normal for the moment. It hadn't gone up today yet, so not sure if we're going to feel any of the effects of the Hurricane in that regard. I can't believe Atlanta is paying more for gas than we are! That's unheard of!

The rest of the night looks like it's going to be me and my couch with a box of Kleenex. I'm quite the date tonight.

Common Sense

Have you ever noticed how common sense really isn't so common to some people? Seriously. I've noticed it more and more the older I get. Moreso this past year. I really don't claim to know everything about life, but I would say I'm pretty smart. Not the smartest in the class, but I'm up there with the best of them. Still, some of the things I've witnessed as of late just seem as simple and well... common, as knowing that grass is green and dogs bark.

For example, my roommate called me up one day to ask if a phone number was long distance. (I don't have a good long distance plan on my home phone, so it costs like 25 cents a minute or something outrageous like that.) I told her to call me anytime if she didn't know if an area code was a local number. (We have two or three area codes that are consider local in Orange County). So I get a phone call from her one day wanting to know if a number was local or if it was long distance and would costs her money to call from the landline. "Ok," I say, "what's the number?" She replies with, "I-800-something, something, something." I immediately stopped listening after I heard "1-800". For a moment I thought she was kidding, but no. She was serious. With a confused yet annoyed look on my face, I said, "No, it's free. Anything beginning with 800 or 888, or sometimes even 877 are all free." She had not known this until now... and she'll be 30 next month!!!

Another thing that I guess is not so common to some people is that when you're cooking and you have to open a can that has a pop-top lid, there is no reason to use the can opener!!

Have you ever called someone up and prefaced the conversation with "I'm just calling to complain"? If someone told you that, do you think they really are calling for advice, defense, or an arguement?? No. They just need you to listen. Especially if they already told you at the beginning of the conversation that the only reason they called was to complain. Translation: They just need to vent! No words necessary, really, except to maybe throw in a "I can only imagine how it made you feel" or "that must really stink". Just a little affirmation. But seriously, don't start trying to defend the reason why they called to complain! Don't try to help them see the other side of things. It's not the time right then. That's only going to make things worse!! Just listen. That's all. Listen.

Water is not free. Yes, we pay for water people. Don't ask me why we have a water bill. We just do. So, the more loads of laundry you do, the more dishes we wash, the more frequently you take showers, the higher the water bill is going to be. So if it jumped in price all the sudden, don't assume we must have a leak somewhere in a pipe. You probably just ran the water more!

*seriously starting to roll my eyes at this point*

If someone is trying to walk away from you while you're talking, they obviously want to end the conversation. They don't want you to follow them. Leave them alone!

Common sense is not so common to some people. I hate the thought of having to assume everyone is dumb, but I think it might be coming to that point. Am I just more "grown-up" than my friends? Maybe so. But really, I don't think that some of these things take that much brain power to figure out. Don't be "one of them."

Travels to Atlanta

This past week, I was in Atlanta, GA for the Network 21 National Leadership Convention. What a great group of people! I met Jim Dornan and his wife, Nancy, a little over a year ago when I joined Free Wheelchair Mission. Jim Dornan (l), me, and Don Schoendorfer (r) Me and Nancy Dornan

They are amazing people! Over time, we eventually grew the relationship into a partnership of which we are all excited about. Network 21 is currently distributing wheelchairs to people in need in South Africa, and currently, we are working on providing aid to those in Ukraine through their help!

Me and Oleksii Mautanov of the Ukraine

Saturday night, the President of Free Wheelchair Mission, Don Schoendorfer, and I were asked to speak on stage to a group of almost 3,000 independent business owners.

I got to do what I love best... speak. I love being in front of large crowds of people. It's so energizing to me! The worst part of this past weekend, though, is that I got sick immediately afterwards. I've had a headache, really bad sore throat, and achey all over.

I'm sorry for those of you I didn't get to see again this time while I was in Atlanta. It simply is so difficult to manage one on one time with all of you, especially while working. Perhaps I'll have to have one big party when I go back next and invite everyone to that one event. :)

I'm headed next month to Wisconson for my cousin's wedding. That's another story in and of itself of which I'll save for later. Oh, and I I'm almost done with my cleanse! It will be two months on Friday. I'm in a new mode of wanting to get physically more fit, so I'm trying to be a lot more concious of what I eat and my activitely level. However, being sick doesn't allow for much physical exhertion.... so, soon I'll ramp it up. Pray I get better quickly!

Six Week Update

So, it's been about six weeks since I've been on this cleanse. I must say that there have been some nasty stuff that's been stuck inside me. One day, I actually decided to go "digging" through it all with a stick. I know. TOTALLY DISGUSTING. Let's just say it was the last time I'll ever do that again. You don't even want to know what I saw.

I'm very happy with the results. Surprisingly, it's gotten me a better schedule in the morning because it actually makes me wake up earlier. For those of you that know me well, you know I am NOT a morning person by any means. I've been getting up, though, by about 7:45am for the last several weeks since starting. That's a huge positive! The other is that it's forced me to drink more water. I drink 2 liters of water each day compared to the 1/2 cup I might have drank before starting the cleanse. My skin is more nourished, too! If you own stock in Costco, I've helped raise your funds as I've contributed significantly as I've purchased more bottled water. You can thank me later. :)

I initially had the intention to do the recommended three month cleanse. However, I think I'm going to scale back and only do it for two months. We'll see, though. I want to be cleanse-free by the time my cousin's wedding happens the end of October. Overall? It's been well worth the time, energy, and money. I recommend this gentle cleansing product to anyone. Seriously people... if I can do it, anyone can.

Clean from the inside out!

I couldn't decide whether to name this blog "Clean from the inside out" or "Flushing money down the toliet". The reason is because I'm about to start something I've wanted to do for about two years now, and that's a colon cleanse!

One of my roommates in college was semi-hippyish and very mindful of her body and following a natural, organic, and pure lifestyle. After college, her and her husband did colon cleansing which is probably where I initially got the idea. Yes, at first I was grossed out, but after thinking it over for several years, I do believe that it's worthwhile.

As of lately, I've felt very fatigued, bloated, had stomach pain, not so great skin, and pain in my legs among other things. I had done some research over the years and about four months ago came across a website for a product called Dr. Natura. (For more information, click here http://www.drnatura.com/index.html). It is a colon cleansing that is suggested to last between 2 -3 months, and there's a 60 money-back garuntee. So, what do I have to lose except, well, crap? LOL! What probably impressed me the most was the pages and pages of testimonials from real people who have tried this product and seen amazing results. We're not talking 5 pages. Oh no, no, no! We're talking over 50 pages! And the pictures? See them at your own risk, but it's amazing what will be coming out of me that's stuck inside my body at the moment. Yuck! (Click here to see pictures of all the gunk that's stuck in our body! http://www.drnatura.com/picture_gallery.html).

So, I'm looking to probably start this week and try it for a month initially. If I like it and it's working ok with my paralysis, I'll keep going. The great thing is that I can continue to eat as I like and don't have to do anything crazy like the Master Cleanse/Lemonade Diet(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Master_Cleanse) and fast for a month. I'm most excited about ridding my body of all the medicine's, toxins, and build-up over the years and especially during the time of my accident. I was pumped with so many hard nartcotics, morphine, and steroids during those first few days and weeks.

Please pray that during this cleanse that God would continue to work on me in all other ways including mental clarity, spiritual renewal, and a clearer vision of where God wants me to be as His daughter.

I hope to update you as often as I can throughout the process!

Time Alone... Being Bored

Nine months ago, I gave up the luxuries of having a place to myself and took in a roommate. Granted, this was someone who I had a brief history with and knew a little about, but my "me" time was gravely interupted by someone else's presence in the house. Isn't it funny that you can still sense someone in the house, even if you can't see them? We recently moved into a bigger apartment that allowed for more distance and room. It's been rather nice, actually, to have more space... even though it's more expensive.

This weekend, however, my roommate was out of town and the guy I'm seeing was busy coaching a highschool basketball tournament as well as had his son this weekend. This meant that the house - and my time - was completely mine. I used to love time by myself and thoroughly enjoyed the quiet times of an empty house. I would watch tv as late as wanted, sleep with my bedroom door open, and even parade around the house half-nekid - just because I could! I've often times thought about what it "used to be like" without a roommate and even secretely sometimes wish I could go back to it. Well, with the house and my time all mine this weekend, I found myself rather, well, let's just say... bored. I had no idea what to do or where to start! I slept in this weekend only to find myself twirling. I've always complained that I don't have enough "time" to do this or that, and now that I had it, I didn't know where to start! So sad. I spent most of Saturday out by the pool. I did go to the mall later in the evening, but even that wasn't too exciting. Today, I baked a batch of cookies and then went to watch R coach his basketball game, then went to Costco. But I still feel very unproductive this weekend and am dreading tomorrow. So here it is almost 10pm, and I'm guessing I'll just go to bed, because I'm that bored. What a waste of a weekend.

Am I that disconnected with myself that I don't enjoy being alone anymore? Hmm... something to think about when the next "alone" time comes.

Yah-Yah-Yah.....

Today was a productive day at work, however I left work at the end of the day feeling very bored. I'm not sure where it came from, but I knew I needed some type of stimulation. I thought about a woman's natural default - shopping - but that didn't sound exciting to me. Finally, I decided to go to the store and get some Strawberry Daquiri mix and make virgin daquiri's and play Yahtzee with my roommate. (The daquiri did nothing for the careful watch I've had on the food I eat, but perhaps that was one of the reasons I was feeling bored!) So with the windows open and the screen door letting in some fresh air, we giggled and yelled "Yah-yah-yah-Yahtzee" as loud as we could when rolling the dice! It was a fun night being a kid again! I used to love game night as a kid while visiting my Grandpa's house. We hardly ever played games at home, but when we got to Grandpa's house, it was all we did in the evenings.

No plans yet for the weekend, although it's been in the 100's here in Southern California, so it's bound to be spent somewhere near water. I'll probably be out by the pool again. It's one of my favorite past times while living here in California.

Another one in!

What an amazing past week it's been in my life! On Thurdsay night, I had the blessed privilage of leading my roommate to the Lord! And then yesterday, I watched my boyfriend get baptized! Praise God for new beginnings!!

All Across the Nation

I've been travelling a lot for work this month. I was in Boston at the beginning of the month, just got back from Springfield, MO last week, and this coming weekend, I'll be in New Mexico. Going into all of this, I knew it was God giving me an opportunity to say "Hey, I really like this!" or "You know what, it's just not for me." I can't decide how I feel yet.

I love travelling and seeing new places and meeting new people. I always have. This love made me welcome this opportunity and even ask to go to additional places than originally intended. Perhaps it's just the timing of everything. This past weekend, I moved (which is stressful in and of itself!). Granted, it was only 100 ft. away into another unit, but it still warranted gathering your entire house up into boxes and moving. So, trying to be out of town and pack was quite stressful. I'm grateful beyond words that when the day actually came to move that I we had 11 men willing to cart it all over - AND unpack everything! By the end of it all, we had our entire house moved, unpacked, and set up! Even had pictures on the wall! It was definitely a blessing to me.

God's giving me another wonderful opportunity to share publicly the journey I've been on with Him. I've been asked to speak at a church next Sunday and give the sermon for both services. I'm extremely excited about it, but I'm also cautious. I want to make sure that I'm truly ready to lay "Alyson" aside so that God can shine through me. Sharing my story is easy. I've done it many times. But, this will be my first time to share my story since really dealing with my story in a comprehensive way through Celebrate Recovery. I pray that God totally takes over and at the end of it, He alone is glorified.

Please keep me in prayer this weekend as I speak at another Purpose Driven church!

New Car!

After a long week in Boston, I was excited to come home. I took Friday off of work and decided to start packing (I'm moving in two weeks) and also do the odds and ends that I never get to do during the work week. One of those things was to take my car in to get serviced.

How is it that I ended up leaving with a new car?! :) I'm actually extremely excited! I have been wanting to get a new car for about 2 years now, but I keep putting it off and convincing myself that I could wait a little longer to save money. In the meantime, I did a lot of research and studying so that I would know exactly what I wanted if/when the time came. Well, God just opened up too many doors for me to pass this deal up this weekend! It was such a good feeling - empowering, in fact - to be able to make such a big decision on my own. I was very confident when I went in there to talk prices and negotiate, and I think they knew I had game after the first few words out of my mouth! I wasn't just another dumb woman coming in!

So anyway, here's my new car!! Yes, another Volvo, but I love the security of knowing that I'm driving a safe car. One car accident is enough!! It's basically the same car that I had except the color changed and it's newer!

God continues to be SO good!

Photo Shoot

I'm in the Boston area for work, and about 9 months ago I was introduced to the Calabria family. Today, I had a photo shoot with probably the best photographer I know! It was truly an honor to have my picture taken by Carl Calabria. Ever since seeing his work in his blogs, I've secretly hoped that one day I'd have the chance to be on the other side of his lens. Carl is fantastic in so many ways - dad, husband, photographer, etc. - so it was truly the highlight of my day today. Here are a few shots from today (click on the picture for a closer view). You can see more of his work at his own blog site under my list of favorites. Enjoy!

Website Launch!

I'm extremely excited to announce my website launch!! It's basic right now, but such a confirmation of God's provision and blessings to me. Check it out!

http://www.alysonroth.com/

Thank you, Jesus!

A Satisfying Realization

I went to yet another gathering for work tonight. The event was held at a very wealthy couple's house in the Newport Coast area. Taking a rough guess, I'd estimate their house probably cost around $20 million. No joke. And for what they're worth monetarily, that's a drop in a bucket. As I was driving to the house, I imagined I'd be full of jealousy and envy of where they live. I imagined what the house must look like, the view it must have, and the "blessing" it would seem to be to live with maid's and servants. Everything you'd need and would want would be right at your fingertips in an moments notice. That seemed to be the life! As I pulled up to the guard gate and told them my name, I must admit that I felt rather "esteemed" and "entitled" as if to say I was someone important - when really, I was just an apartment renter like most people my age in Orange County.

Pulling up to the house was nice, and when I buzzed the buzzer thing next to the door, I expected to have some camera entity in my face to let the people inside aware of who was outside. But there wasn't. After greeted and asked to come in, I immediately noticed the dual grand staircase and marble floors. And straight ahead was the backyard with floor to ceiling windows with a breathtaking view of the Pacific Ocean (as you can see above which looks out to Balboa Island). An infinity pool lay just beyond one of the granite stone patios (yes one - there were three total). The kitchen had state of the art appliances with large and over sized everything. Even the bathrooms were elaborate - 9 of them to be exact! All 9 bathrooms housed both a toilet and a bade (I don't know how to spell that word - but you know what I'm talking about! The "toilet" that shoots water on your bottom.) Yes, all had BOTH! There were maid's quarters and mile-high draperies with elaborate chandeliers, pictures, and rugs everywhere. To take a step back and take everything in, one would be quick to say that they definitely have it good.

The evening itself was lovely, but as I drove home, I couldn't help but think how "desensitized" I'm becoming to the "high life." I mean, yes, it was a nice home and I mean in no way to discredit what they have, but would I want to actually live that way? Honestly, probably not. I wasn't as awed as I thought I would be (which was a weird feeling) because it seems like everyone here in Orange County is trying to get bigger and better. I'll admit that I have, at times, fallen to that mentality as well. Perhaps it's good that I get to experience this type of lifestyle through other people so that I don't yearn for it myself knowing I couldn't afford to live like that. And not only would I not be able to afford it, but I don't necessarily want it. I would love to have the view, but other than that, I could honestly do without the pomp and circumstance. It made me actually kind of thankful for my "normal" life - you know, cleaning my own toilets, planting my own flowers, and cooking my own dinner. I'm definitely still incredibly thankful for the experiences I have had through working at Free Wheelchair Mission, but I'm probably even more thankful to know that what I have right now at this point in my life is enough. Enough to keep a nice roof over my head, a bed to sleep in, and food to eat. Enough to enjoy the weekend with friends and enough to save for the future. A satisfying realization. Thank you, Jesus, for being my Jehovah Jireh all the time!

Stillness

It's late, yes. But it's my most favorite time of the day... seriously. Especially now that summer is upon us in California, it's these cool evenings that make it all worthwhile to me. I love this time of night because it's so quiet - and calm. There's nothing stirring here except the whirl of the fan above my head and the hum of the neighbors air conditioning unit outside. The windows are open and it's simply beautiful. Today is Easter, and what a perfect ending to such an important day in history. I'm so blessed to live where I do and to have the adventures that I have here in Southern California. It definitely is a "busy" place where everyone's trying to be someone. So it's times like tonight - at this moment - where it reminds me of home. Sometimes I think about putting a twin bed outside on my patio just so I can sleep "outdoors" yet still have the convienences of a house - well, ok, an apartment. Days like today/tonight make me not want to go to work the next morning. It's this stillness that I think we all search for in one way or another. In fact, God tells us to "be still and know that I am God." It's in this stillness where sometimes we find answers. For me, it's the only time I really get to think and "be." There's no traffic, no tv, no children running around outside playing, no neighbors upstairs bouncing around. It's just me and ... me. Me and God. How I've longed for moments like tonight. Thank you, Jesus, for bringing stillness back into my spirit and reminding me that life is only as chaotic as I want it to be.

From Rags to Riches

Yes, that is me and Dakota Fanning. I was almost like a kid at Christmas when I had the opportunity to meet her up in Beverly Hills last weekend. One of our young supporters at my job was honored at another non-profit's Gala where Dakota (yes, we're on a first name basis now! LOL) was the presenter of the award to him. It truly was a beautiful evening. I don't often get the opportunity to get all dressed up and be a woman, but I did that night! Actually, I've found that I've had to invest in more "ballroom" attire because I've had to attend more and more events the last few months that require this type of dress. Sadly, I do not have any other pictures of me from that evening up in Beverly Hills other than this one. So sorry! More to come, I'm sure.

I am so amazed at what God has provided me with in the past year. I have literally gone from rags to riches, and I owe all the glory and honor to Him. He has definitely been my Jehovah-Jireh when I felt it was all for not, and he has continued to bless me over and over as new levels of favor abound for me. I am a blessed and anointed woman of God! Praise the Lord!