Well, I Did It....

After much thinking and overcoming (hopefully) my fear of being alone, I am now single again. I ended my almost two year relationship last night with Robert. I feel good about the decision, but I must admit that there is a loneliness in my heart. I already miss his voice, his smell, and his strong arms around me. But, it's for the better. He has many things that he needs to work on in his life and get situated before bringing a woman into the picture. I sincerely hope that we remain friends (after all, that's basically what we've been for the last few months in my eyes). He's a great guy, but he's not ready for what it takes to be in a relationship. And, I don't know that he'll ever be. It wasn't fair for me to keep the door closed to other potential men in my life while he's trying to figure things out. I'm ok with going through the valley's with someone, but not when they are stagnant. I can't do stagnant. I finally got tired of looking at other married couples and longing for that type of love, even though I was in a relationship. I want better. I deserve better. Maybe down the road, Robert will be what God needs Him to be. But right now, I'm a distraction and in the meantime, I'm frustrated. I hope that he listens to where God is needing him to be right now and follows His will for his life.

So, I'm moving forward. Somehow. I'm secure in my relationship with Jesus and know that He is all I need right now. I really am ok. I'm a strong woman and have lots of great things ahead of me, and I know that God has it all worked out. So, why worry? LOL!

Please keep me in your prayers, though. Although I've prepared my heart for this moment over the past few months, it still is a little bit sad. Also, pray for Robert. I know he's confused and hurt, too. I pray that we both end up exactly where God wants us... whether that means we're together or apart. I wish all the best for him.

I'm back on the market!!!

Atlanta Bound!

This year has flown by! I can't believe it's already almost April!! These are the effects of getting older, I think. I'm creeping toward the big 3-0! In fact, this year it's my "Golden Birthday"! A golden birthday is when you turn the same age as the day you were born. My birthday is on April 30th, so my 30th birthday is my "Golden Birthday." It only happens once, and some people miss it because it was when they were younger. What a great day it will be to celebrate my crossing over into a new decade as well as celebrating my golden birthday all at the same time! Wow!

I'll be in Atlanta April 18 - 28, however I'll be in a work conference for most of it. I would love to meet up with you if I have the chance. I'm also heading to SC to see my best friend and her family for a quick overnight trip and then to the North GA mountains to spend time with my family at our cabin. I'd love to somehow have a birthday celebration with my GA people! Best time would probably be Sunday evening the 26th. Anyone want to plan it? :)

Love you all, and be sure to check out my website for fun updates on my life! I'll be posting the most recent news in a few days!

Are You Happy?

During the times I am most happiest, I find the following to be true. Perhaps I need to take note and start doing some of these things so that it boosts my level of happiness! I'm better now than I was during my last post. I'll blame it on PMS. :)

1.) Happy people have also happy friends.
2.) They know how to stand their ground and speak for themselves when they feel or think they are not treated properly.
3.) They live with integrity; they're honest and sincere with others and with themselves and they live their values.
4.) They often listen to music.
5.) They really are thankful for what they have. They recognize their blessings that come their way and constantly show appreciation and gratitude.
6.) They receive and likewise share lots of love, compassion and affection.
7.) Mostly happy people sleep better.
8.) They eat well and also focus on feeding their body with high quality food.
9.) They're patient with people and things around them.
10.) They're excited-they always have something to look forward to everyday and welcome the new and exciting adventures that life has in store for them.
11.) They simply want the best not just for them but also for people around them.
12.) They have a regular exercise or workout regimen.
13.) They are naturally optimistic--they try to practice the fine art of altering negative circumstance to put a positive twist in them.
14.) They know how to live their passion. They know their purpose on this earth and at this time they know their true calling.
15.) They readily forgive themselves and do not severely beat up on themselves for unavoidable mistakes.
16.) They consistently try to learn new things and are open to fresh and new ideas.
17.) They fully understand the significance of self care and well being and make sure that they constantly work toward strengthening their mental health and fitness.
18.) They understand the power of praying because they are spiritual. They believe that through constant prayer, all things are possible and attainable.

So the question is.... "Are You Happy?"

Missing Home

I am really, really missing home today. That stinging, burning feeling keeps pushing at the forefront of my eyes, warning me that tears are about to fall. I think if I blink really fast, it will hold the water from spilling over.

So much going on in my life that I wish I were around my family right now. I feel like I'm on the verge of diving into that black hole of depression. I hate this feeling. I know it well. I'm trying to stay busy, stay empowered, stay strong, but today isn't that type of day. Today, I'd be ok with just staying in my bed, even though it's 88 degrees outside and blue skies and sunshine. I don't feel as happy as the day looks.

This "about to be 30 years old" feeling sucks, too. So many things I would have thought I would have done or been by this point. Mainly, I dreamed of being married with a child by this point. It saddens me deep inside when I hear of another friend or co-worker getting married or expecting a child. Why can't that be me? When will that be me? My rebelious and hateful spirit wants to once again blame Jennifer for causing all of these setbacks in my life. And God, too.

And it's snowing in Georgia today. I wish I was there to experience it all. I hate when fun things happen without me, and it seems as if everyone is thoroughly enjoying this snowfall without me.

The stinging in my eyes won't subside. I need to find a distraction. I miss home.